I’m trying to make the most of him being here. I just wish I had longer with him.



Some of you might remember that I mentioned that my Granddad has cancer. The doctors were really positive at first, surgery was offered and we were really hopeful.

Then they said surgery won’t work. The tumours are too big and it’s not safe. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy were offered, he’s declined. The chances of it working are just too small for him to go through the horrible effects of the treatment. So he’s not fighting.

I understand. Of course I do. He knows it’s not worth making himself really sick with little chance of it working. It’s just hard to accept. It’s hard to accept that I’m going to lose my Granddad. Especially so soon after losing Nanny. I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want to lose my Granddad. I want him here.

I guess I’m lucky though. He got to see me graduate. He got to see me succeed. He was there for both him and Nanny.

I just don’t know how I’m meant to do this. I’ll be the one who’s there for everyone – I was for Nanny. I know Joe will be there for me but I don’t like leaning on him. I don’t like putting it all on him it’s not fair.

Cancer is a really shitty thing. It hurts way too many people and takes too many people away too early. Nanny went before she should have done and now Granddad’s leaving too. The only upside? They’ll be back together again.


Author: itsjustlittleoldme


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