I’m sat here, trying to do revision and writing while catching up on my soaps (I know it’s a bad combo but it’s the way I work). Anyway, Diane (Emmerdale) has just been told she has bowel cancer. The same cancer that took my Granddad away.
Until now, I’ve been dealing with losing him pretty well – well, I haven’t really dealt with it. But that was hard to watch.
It’s really difficult going through everyday life, planning the most important days of my life, only to know that two of the people who meant the most to me won’t be there. They just won’t be. Not in person anyway. Not there so I can dance with them, see them smile and make them proud time and time again. Everyone says they’ll be there in spirit – that will bring me comfort at the time I’m sure – but right now that doesn’t make me feel any better.
Right now I want to hear my Nanny and Granddad laughing together. I want to hear their voices on the phone when they open their wedding invitation. I want to see the look on their eyes when I walk down the aisle to marry the man that I love. I just want them here.