I am 100% sure that the second I find peace within myself I’ll stop comparing every aspect of my life to those around me.
When your self esteem isn’t very high, but anxiety is right up there, it can be difficult to realise that things aren’t as bad as they could be.
I’m working hard on a daily basis to be the best and strongest version of myself, both in body and mind. However, I’d quite like it all to hurry up! There is always going to be someone with a better body, a healthier mind, a healthier life than me. The truth is, there’s nothing I can do about that. What I can do though, is try to make sure that I focus on me. I focus on making myself the best possible version of myself.
No matter how hard I try, I’ll only ever be me.
Just something else to work on!
Okay, I wanted to keep writing happier posts, but I’m actually finding it really difficult at the moment. This isn’t a post to try and get a reaction or anything, more one to just get things off of my chest before I explode!
A lot is going on at the moment, both good and bad. Joe has a new job, I’m applying to go back to university to climb the ladder in my career and we’re saving (sort of) towards our future. That’s all so good and I really am so happy! The only thing is, there’s also some bad, or uncomfortable, stressful things happening.
My Granddad is ill… cancer. As if it hasn’t plagued the world enough, it’s come back to hit our family again not even a year after we lost my Nan. I’m ill, but we don’t know how ill. If I’m lucky, this course of antibiotics I’m on (that’s making me feel super rough by the way) will fix it. If I’m not? I’m not sure I even want to think about that. And I just got some news, news that I can’t share with you all yet because I’ve been asked not to say anything.
I joked a minute ago to a woman I was working with that I was going to be signed off work with stress – I won’t be, but I needed to laugh.
It’s that time again. Time for Chrissie to be strong. Time for me to be there for everyone. Time for me to be the person everyone needs me to be at the moment. I know Joe is there for me. And I know I’ve got this platform to let off some steam on.
I hope everyone else is having a better time than I am at the moment! I just needed to vent!