Relief

Relieved

I’d written half a post about how I hadn’t felt a sense of relief in a while due to my high anxiety levels. But, I’ve already written a post today about my anxiety so I feel as though you probably want to read something a little more upbeat.

So, I’ll tell you about the relief I felt when I saw my now husband at the end of the aisle just over 5 weeks ago.

I’d been told he was ready, he was on his way and he was fine. I’d been told this 100 times.

I’d had friends telling me we were perfect for each other and the wedding would be beautiful.

I’d had him tell me himself that he would be there.

I even saw him when I was driving into the register office!

But, there was still a small part of me that thought he wouldn’t be there. That he’d changed his mind at the last minute and ran. That he didn’t want to be my husband after all.

Then I saw him. I saw my best friend standing at the other end of the aisle waiting for me to walk down and take his hand and become his wife.

5 weeks later, I’m happier than every – obviously still in the happiness of newlywed bliss – and looking forward to feeling the relief I do every time I see him. He fixes the hard days, and tries his best to get rid of my anxieties.

To my best friend, and my best source of relief. I thank you.

C.x

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Hello!

I’m back. Well, I’m trying to be back.

When I first started this blog, I was really good at updating you all with my life on a day to day basis, but now? Yeah I went off a little bit. But here I am, trying again!

Since we last spoke properly, a lot has happened.

I know you all know I lost my Granddad in September, that was a pretty hard hit, especially when it was only around 15 months since we lost Nanny. It sucked, but with the help of Joe and my family and friends, I’m managing to get through it. I started Uni again, which again I’m pretty sure you all know, but hey! My blog, I can repeat myself if I want to. My sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and my brother and his girlfriend had a beautiful baby boy – proud auntie right here! Oh, and we booked our wedding!

Yes, we booked our wedding! On the 13th May 2017 I finally get to marry my best friend. The one I laugh and cry with. The one I’m grumpy with half the time. The one who just makes everything better. I cannot wait! The only hard thing is, the wedding isn’t where we live, it’s actually a couple of hours away! Not that I care, it’s beautiful, half way between the two families and I, no we, love it.

So now, I’m in the process of trying to finish a postgraduate diploma, plan a wedding, make sure we don’t lose our flat (tenancy coming to an end), be an awesome auntie and be a person all at the same time!

I’ve joined a couple of wedding planning groups on facebook, and I’m in touch with the lady who helps us plan things at the reception so it’s not all bad, I have a lot of help! It’s just nervewracking! Next on our list is sorting a photographer and giving notice to become man and wife.

Now for the big decision – do I keep my name, or change it?

C.x

Wedding Planning

Wedding planning is genuinely the most stressful thing I’ve ever embarked upon in my life. Amidst this uni course, house hunting for our move to somewhere completely new, and trying to work out how much money we need, the wedding is driving me absolutely mad!

It’s not just the big bits that are driving me mad, finding a venue, dress, photographer, etc., it’s the supposedly smaller things. – the guest list. It’s driving me absolutely bonkers. We’re trying to work out who we really want there, while also trying to make sure the important people are invited and trying not to upset anyone.

It’s genuinely the hardest thing I have to do, and to be honest, I just want the wedding here so that I can be married to the love of my life. Why does it have to be so frustrating!

C.x

Exactly what I need.

In the previous week things have gone shooting up. Joe started his new job, I started applying for new jobs and we’re finally spending some well deserved quality time together (even if it is at a football match or us just sat in bed with me blogging and him on his phone). Believe me, I don’t remember the last time we spent some proper time together without worrying he’s going to be called into work or when we haven’t had to purposely book the time off. It’s just ours. Continue reading “Exactly what I need.”