The last few weeks have been a bit mad (which is why I’ve been neglecting you all a bit). I went back to uni, lost my granddad, set a date for our wedding and have been ridiculously overwhelmed with responsibility.
So tonight, I’m not going to do my usual gym session. I’m going to go home, run myself a nice bath, and then just relax in front of the TV. Have some quality me time.
Hopefully I’ll get back into the blogging swing soon!
C.x
Exploding or collapsing? I’m not sure which word correctly indicates how I’m feeling right now.
Now, there is a lot going on right now. My Granddads funeral is on Friday, Joe has started his new course, I’m overwhelmed with work from this new course, my sister is heavily pregnant, my sister in law is also pregnant and Joe and I have set a date for a wedding.
While most of this is really good stuff, it’s still really stressful and comes with a whole lot of pressure. Throw into the mix that my family is miles away and that’s where I am right now. 100 miles away from the family I know and love. I’ve got Joe here, and his family. I love them all, but sometimes I just need a mummy hug.
I’m trying to stay strong for everyone and everything going on but sometimes it’s tough.
Maybe I need to blog more often.
Love.
C.x
An escape from reality is sometimes all we need.
I’ve never really liked being alone but I used to be okay with it. I guess I’d just gotten used to it. The last few months though, I’ve hated being alone. It makes me feel tense, lonely and anxious and today I’d had enough. I wanted to feel normal again. I wanted to feel okay again. I wanted to feel happy even when I’m by myself. So I asked Joe to buy me a colouring book. Continue reading “A Real Smile.”
Colouring the stress away.
Today has been one of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time. Not only have I got a headache that will not go away, I’ve also had a day of feeling very on edge and nervous. It’s really not a nice feeling.
When I have days like this I end up over thinking every single thing that’s been said over the past few days/weeks and it just consumes me. Luckily though, I was at work so I had a lot to focus on.
Instead of trying to fight the anxiety, I try and work through it now. So I got an adult colouring book. They’re apparently meant to let you de-stress. So let’s give it a try shall we?
C.x
I’m trying to make the most of him being here. I just wish I had longer with him.
Some of you might remember that I mentioned that my Granddad has cancer. The doctors were really positive at first, surgery was offered and we were really hopeful.
Then they said surgery won’t work. The tumours are too big and it’s not safe. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy were offered, he’s declined. The chances of it working are just too small for him to go through the horrible effects of the treatment. So he’s not fighting.
I understand. Of course I do. He knows it’s not worth making himself really sick with little chance of it working. It’s just hard to accept. It’s hard to accept that I’m going to lose my Granddad. Especially so soon after losing Nanny. I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want to lose my Granddad. I want him here.
I guess I’m lucky though. He got to see me graduate. He got to see me succeed. He was there for both him and Nanny.
I just don’t know how I’m meant to do this. I’ll be the one who’s there for everyone – I was for Nanny. I know Joe will be there for me but I don’t like leaning on him. I don’t like putting it all on him it’s not fair.
Cancer is a really shitty thing. It hurts way too many people and takes too many people away too early. Nanny went before she should have done and now Granddad’s leaving too. The only upside? They’ll be back together again.
C.x
A dry scalp is never a good look…
Okay, I need your help – desperately!
For about 6-8 weeks now I’ve had a really, really dry scalp and my hair is literally falling out more and more each day – I’m going to end up bald if this carries on! My hairdresser said this is most likely down to stress. If any of you regularly read my blog you might realise that I am under a lot of pressure at the moment – too much in fact!
I know there are a lot of beauty bloggers out there, and possible hairdressers too. Even people with amazing stress relieving techniques! Well, I need to hear from you – pronto if possible! I have my graduation next week and my gown is black!
Lots of thanks in advance.
C.x
Stress is never fun. The weekend should be.
It’s been one hell of a week and I am so happy it’s finally the weekend!
I found out I need exploratory keyhole (I thought I told you all about it the other day but I posted it on the wrong blog – oops!) to find out what’s happening with me. One of Joe’s dogs had to be put to sleep because she got really poorly (you can see a photo of her here), we put a holding deposit down on a flat and now we’re just waiting to see if we passed the referencing (seriously, the most stressful thing I’ve ever done) and I’m literally feeling the effects of the stress. Continue reading “What a week.”
Just a Blog Rambling On 