Our first home together. This is a massive step. A step I’m more than happy to take.
So I have some big news to share with you all – no, I’m not pregnant – Joe and I are moving into our own flat!
It’s been a very stressful week waiting for the referencing results to come through, but we found out yesterday that it’s ours! All we’re waiting for now is the flat to be ready for us to move in which will hopefully be next week!
I am so excited – not that I can show it because my body feels like it’s giving up on me at the moment – to start the next chapter of our lives together. Our own little place filled with the things that we love and want. Free to fill with whatever we need, whatever we want without it getting in the way of other peoples bits and pieces. Our own little place to have our own privacy!
Now all we need to do is pack. And ohmygod I didn’t realise how much stuff we had until we started packing – 2 big suitcases, 3 or 4 holdals and a few backpacks later and we’re not even half way through! It’s going to be a long week of trying to sort everything out at home, only to then sort it out again when we move into our new home!
Wish us luck guys. We’ve never done this before and I just can’t wait to get started. Although, it does mean I won’t be blogging for a little while after we move while we sort out the internet, etc. If anyone has any handy organisational tips for new homes then just let me know!
My Mum was my Dad. But to all you Fathers out there. Have a wonderful day.
To all you Dads out there whose children know that you love them; those of you who fight day in day out to be a part of your children’s lives; those of you who genuinely love and want to be there for your children. And to all of you who have a Dad like that, treasure them. Not all of us have that.
My Dad never cared about me. My Mum left him when I was a baby for my own safety. I let him come back into my life when I was 18 only to be bitterly disappointed when I realised he only found me so he could make himself out to be a great man. Instead, he decided to make me feel like I didn’t matter at all – so I broke it all off. He wasn’t there when he should have been, so I have no business letting him back into my life again.
Instead, I dedicated Father’s Day to my Mum. The one who acted as both parents to me my entire life. So thank you Mum, for everything.
Happy Father’s Day.
Stress is never fun. The weekend should be.
It’s been one hell of a week and I am so happy it’s finally the weekend!
I found out I need exploratory keyhole (I thought I told you all about it the other day but I posted it on the wrong blog – oops!) to find out what’s happening with me. One of Joe’s dogs had to be put to sleep because she got really poorly (you can see a photo of her here), we put a holding deposit down on a flat and now we’re just waiting to see if we passed the referencing (seriously, the most stressful thing I’ve ever done) and I’m literally feeling the effects of the stress. Continue reading “What a week.”
Some well deserved “me time”.
Sometimes we all need some alone time.
It’s really something finding someone who can make everything better while barely trying.
Soppy post alert: scroll down now if you don’t want to read.
There, I’ve warned you. To be honest, I just wanted to give Joe a bit of appreciation – even though he doesn’t actually read my blog – because he is quite literally saving me right now.
All he needs to do is pull me next to him and just hold me. I don’t need presents, I don’t need a big house or lots of money. I need him.
I really do feel like I’m the luckiest girl in the world – a gorgeous man who loves me and who I’m head over heels for, who just happens to be my best friend rolled in.
Thank you Joe. I love you.
One year on and it still hurts like it was yesterday.
One year on and it still hurts like it did at the time. Everyone said it would take time to grieve and come to terms with what happened. They all said I would be okay and that you’re proud of me. So why has time helped nothing? Why does it still feel like I can’t breathe every time I think of you? It hurts so much that I try not to think about you. Even today, one year on, I’m not thinking of you, I’m going flat hunting.
You’ve missed so much since you were taken. Mollie is going to big school soon, Carollan is having your great grandchild, I qualified and got back into uni. I wish you were here, I really do. I know that’s selfish, but I miss you so much.
I know you had to go. It wasn’t fair for you to stay. You were in so much pain. But why did you have to get so ill? Why did you have to stop treatment? Why did you have to be in so much pain? Why did it have to be you?
I know I’m still angry and upset about everything. In all honesty I’m struggling to find a way to deal with the fact that you’re not here anymore. Mum tells me all the time that she feels you around her, that she knows you’re there sometimes because you send her a sign. I’ve had two. Goosebumps when I listened to a Cliff Richard song, and one when I did the charity run for you and I saw a shooting star. But that isn’t enough. It isn’t enough to not have you here. To not have you a phone call away so that I can tell you about everything that’s happening.
It’s selfish, but I want you back. Even if it’s just one for one day. I want to tell you what’s going on in my life. I want to tell you how everyone is. I want you to see how well we’re all doing. I miss you.
I know you’re not here, and I know it’s the best thing. But it doesn’t stop it hurting any less. I just really hope you’re up there watching over us all. Especially today, Granddad and Mum really need you today. Take care of us all. I love you.